Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

Dream Lover

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Picture this: I’m somewhere, in a situation with a really sexy guy and I am so turned on that I know what’s coming. But then… The guilt clicks in. Oh did I mention? This is a dream.  Yes, a dream. So, tell me. Why is it that I can’t enjoy a good, honest to God sexy dream without feeling guilty?

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Posted in men, Relationships | 5 Comments »

Spank You for Nothing

Back in prehistoric times (and by that I mean the 60s), wearing stockings meant one of two things: you either were slutty and wore a garter belt, or you were a “lady” and wore a girdle. There was no other choice. And, if you were in high school, it was definitely the girdle.

Yes. Fourteen year old girls were wearing girdles daily. Because heaven forbid we should be comfortable. And because we all knew girls who wore garter belts were easy. Or at least that’s what our mothers told us.

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Posted in Relationships, Social Issues | No Comments »

Barbie Envy

When I was a kid, there was one thing I really, really wanted.

A Barbie doll.

Not the Miss Revlon my parents got me. Not some knock off. I wanted the real thing. Barbie, with her misshapen feet and enormous boobs. But I never, ever got one. [Stop while I wipe away a tear] My parents were so, so terrible to me which is why I grew up to be a terrible, terrible person.

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Posted in Family | 4 Comments »

Pick Up the Damn Ball

Walking my dog in the morning I often pass interesting items on the street, in addition to the piles of sh_t: fast food wrappers, beer cans, cigarettes, even  an occasionally sock (where is the other one???). And, sometimes, balls. Tennis balls, ping pong balls, baseballs. And then I see those balls the next day. And the next. And the next. And I wonder: did a stray ball ever sit at the curb more than a few hours when were kids? Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted in Social Issues | 2 Comments »

I Can Forgive, But I Can’t Forget

HSAM or Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory is the unique ability to remember virtually everything from every day in your life. I’m convinced that I have at least a version of this because I never, ever forget. Not the words to cartoon theme songs from the 1960s. Not what you said to me on the first day of school. Yup. I remember it all. . . well, most. And I may seem to forgive you. . . But, believe me. I do not forget.

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Posted in My Pet Peeves, Socializing | No Comments »

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