Beyond Babedom
We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.
Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
Big Myth
Saturday, March 12th, 2011
What is the biggest myth perpetrated by men? That they love brains as much as beauty? That they are still attracted to women who beat them at tennis/golf/you name it? That they are listening?
No; the number one folk tale they love to tell is that there is such a thing as an open marriage. (more…)
Posted in Relationships | 1 Comment »
Semi-Sociopath-Like
Sunday, February 27th, 2011
We all know some – people who are Semi-Sociopath-Like or SSL (a term I’ve coined). They’re cold; they don’t care about your feelings (remember Hall & Oats’ Rich Girl? “It’s so easy to hurt others when you can’t feel pain”). They hurt us. And they don’t seem to care. They’re just numb. But, what makes they different from actual sociopaths? Sociopaths pretend they have feelings, which makes them able to manipulate us (think Ted Bundy). If you’re semi-sociopath-like you actually have feelings, but pretend you don’t. They’re buried so deeply that you can’t get in touch with them – because you don’t want to. And after awhile, if you bury them for long enough, you just can’t. We call these people cold or repressed or simply f*cked up. (more…)
Tags: cold, manipulative, people who are cold, people who don't call their parents, repressed, repressing your feelings, sociopath, unfeeling, women over 40
Posted in Relationships | 4 Comments »
Goodbye, Remington
Wednesday, February 16th, 2011
Today is one of the saddest days of my life. In about an hour, Gary and I will be bringing our wonderful 12 year old chocolate Lab to the vet for the last time.
No matter how prepared you think you are, no matter how much easier your life will be once they are gone, losing a companion who has been such an important part of your life is about the most gut wrenching thing in the world.
I know; there are worse things. But not for us.
When we picked Remmy out at the SPCA, where we almost always find our pets, I fell in love at first sight. This guy has so much personality that seeing him fail breaks my heart. He was put up for adoption because of an obsessive lick problem, so bad that he had literally licked the skin off of his leg almost down to the bone. Using Dog Whisperer techniques, a lampshade collar, bandages, bitter apple, tons of love and even Prozac, we finally were able to completely heal his “boo boo” – just in time to put him to sleep.
What is it about a dog (or cat, for that matter) that makes us go through this end-of-life torture, again and again? After we lost our first dog, Boris (who everyone knows was the love of our life), Gary wanted to be pet free. But, after a week, I couldn’t stand the emptiness and we’ve since had four cats and six dogs, mostly labs. Our plans always take “the kids” into account. No vacations without a house sitter – no kennels for our kids!
So, this is my final farewell to Remington, who is now sedated so he can sleep peacefully at home for the last time. No more fetching and catching his stuffed heart or baby monkey (that stopped when he lost his eyesight on Christmas day). No more anxious, hyper interest in dinner (when he didn’t want to get up to eat yesterday, that said it all). No more re-bandaging his boo-boo while he patiently sat there as I applied bacitracin and bandages. No more hugging and soothing when he huffed and puffed through whatever was bothering him. No more leading him down the ramp Gary built on the deck, digging out the deep snow so we could walk him on his leash to relieve himself, no more watching him cuddle with Sweet Pea, our kitten.
No more Remmington.
Tags: cats, dogs, losing your pet, putting your pet to sleep
Posted in Relationships | 12 Comments »
Only the Lonely
Monday, February 7th, 2011
College. In my dorm room. Alone. Lonely. Miserable.
High school. Saturday night. At the side of the dance floor. Lonely.
The crowded disco. No one asking me to dance. Lonely.
Today. In my kitchen. Alone. Happy.
What’s the difference between being alone and being lonely? Why are some people lonely even when they’re not alone? Sometimes I think the more you need to be with people, the lonelier you are. (more…)
Tags: alone time, being alone, lonely, marriage, watching tv, women over 40
Posted in Relationships | 2 Comments »
Let’s Get Married – or Break Up
Sunday, January 30th, 2011
This post isn’t about forcing a decision, but rather about forcing a realization. Which is why I invited my significant other to move in so we could decide unequivocally if we wanted to get married – or break up.
And that was the only choice. I mean, really, if you can’t figure out after 6 months whether or not it’s working, that says it all. (more…)
Tags: breakups, Dr Joy Brown, honeymoon, living together, marriage, Relationships, the heavy
Posted in Relationships | 7 Comments »
