Beyond Babedom
We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.
Archive for July, 2009
Look out, Imelda
Friday, July 31st, 2009
What is it about shoe shopping that makes me go into a trance? No, really, when I’m in DSW Shoe Warehouse or Marshall’s shoe department, I look slowly and methodically at each pair, up and down the aisles. Most times I don’t buy any; sometimes I buy several. It depends on my mood. But every time – and I mean every time – I find myself nearly hypnotized; entranced, perhaps. But certainly engrossed. And it makes me realize that we are indeed products of our female, genetic structure. You, hunter. Me, gatherer. (more…)
Tags: caveman, shoes, shopping
Posted in Fashion | No Comments »
Sex, Drugs and R*** or How to Enjoy a Business Meeting
Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
I want to talk about sex, and one very important part of sex – especially for women – is fantasies. And, yes, rape (or simply being overpowered by a man) is a common fantasy. Accept it. Here’s what I’ve learned: real rape – something none of us want – is about a man exerting power. Fantasy rape, on the other hand, is about being so desirable that your fantasy man has to have you, no matter what. And you, as the victim, can’t be held responsible. Or it might actually be your way of being in control – after all, it’s your fantasy. It’s not only perfectly normal to have this fantasy; it’s one lots of women have. So, don’t feel guilty or disturbed or dirty if you have rape fantasies. Okay – you can feel dirty. That’s the idea of a fantasy anyway. (more…)
Tags: boomers, fantasy, Kegels, men, orgasm, sex drive, sexual fantasies, The Pill
Posted in Relationships | 2 Comments »
Don’t You Miss Ads Like These?
Saturday, July 25th, 2009
Posted in Relationships | No Comments »
Ph. D. in Patty Cakes
Friday, July 24th, 2009
Remember your college graduation? Wasn’t that a very special day? You knew you had achieved something, right? Four years of studying, cramming (and some partying, too, no doubt.) But you had to get the grades to make it through. What about your high school graduation day? How important was that, to have your diploma in hand, proving you had what it took to finish what many of your grandparents hadn’t. Some of us even had a Junior High graduation, because 7th and 8th grade meant changing classes and different teachers and science and maybe even foreign languages. We were going to high school!
But did you have a kindergarten graduation? Or a pre-school one? No? (more…)
Tags: child rearing, graduation, kindergarten
Posted in My Pet Peeves | 7 Comments »
The “No Curves” Zone Joke of the Day
Saturday, July 18th, 2009
Thanks to my wife, Catherine, for this one. It’s time for the family vacation, so we’re off to the land of maple syrup, favorable currency conversions, and Cuban cigars.
After being married for 35 years, I took a careful look at my wife and said, “Thirty-five years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV. But I got to sleep every night with a hot 21 year old girl.”
“Now I’ve got a home valued at $750,000, a $40,000 car, nice king-size bed and two plasma screen TVs. But I’m sleeping with a 56-year old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”
My wife is a reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 21-year old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis.
Posted in No Curves Zone | 2 Comments »
