Beyond Babedom
We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.
Archive for the ‘My Pet Peeves’ Category
‘Cause the Bible Tells Me So?
Monday, November 9th, 2009
We’ve all heard the story of Adam and Eve and how evil, evil Eve tempted Adam with an apple from the tree of knowledge and, therefore, how women are the root of all problems people-kind face. There is so much in this story that bugs me, but you’ll be happy to know that in the original Hebrew version (before King James had his translation done, for example), Eve did not actually tempt Adam but, rather, they succumbed to the serpent’s temptation together.
So, we’re blamed for everything bad in this world because some jerk mistranslated the Bible. Figures.
But rather than dwell on the good book (and who their third son, Seth, mated with) . . . (more…)
Tags: Adam, Bible, Eve, knowledge, smart, stupid, women
Posted in My Pet Peeves, Relationships | 5 Comments »
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
Why is it that, when you look at old high school photos, the guys who are bald now were the ones with all the hair? My husband, my brother in laws, virtually every bald guy I know spent the 70’s (and later, as we all know. . . ) with pony tails and big ‘fros. Which brings me to today’s subject: while we know women spend time and money on keeping their curls cool, men are the biggest closet coiffeur-ers. (more…)
Tags: bald, combover, curls, hair, narcissism
Posted in Fashion, Grooming, My Pet Peeves | 3 Comments »
The No-Hug Zone
Monday, September 14th, 2009
Two third grade boys see each other for the first time since June. The yell from opposite ends of the playground and run as fast as they can, ending in a bear hug of happiness.
After which they are taunted by fifth grade boys, who accuse them of “humping” each other.
Now, imagine this scenario with two girls. You can’t, right? Because even though there are tons of reasons girls can be brutal to each other, harassing one another for showing affection isn’t one of them. We can kiss each other on the lips without a smidge of worry about what people will think (except those purvey guys who drool over it). So, tell me this: why are guys so hung up about male-male affection? (more…)
Posted in My Pet Peeves, Relationships, Socializing | 14 Comments »
My Neck of the Woods
Friday, August 7th, 2009
I hate my neck.
Everything else about me – that I have to expose to the world – looks fine; I can style my hair, I can wear Spanx or other heavy-duty tools to hide rolls of fat. I can ever wear fake tan if I must. But my neck? Ugh. Now I know why Katherine Hepburn loved turtlenecks.
I’ve tried exercising it – smile, stop; smile, stop. I’ve tried creaming it (if you don’t use face cream on your neck and chest, you will be sorry). I’ve sat in front of a mirror and tried to figure out the exact right way to tense my muscles so it doesn’t look like crepe paper.
But it does. Damn. (more…)
Tags: age, Ageing, bathing suit, body, face, fat, fat rolls, muffin top, neck, plastic surgey, skin care, wrinkles
Posted in My Pet Peeves | 13 Comments »
Ph. D. in Patty Cakes
Friday, July 24th, 2009
Remember your college graduation? Wasn’t that a very special day? You knew you had achieved something, right? Four years of studying, cramming (and some partying, too, no doubt.) But you had to get the grades to make it through. What about your high school graduation day? How important was that, to have your diploma in hand, proving you had what it took to finish what many of your grandparents hadn’t. Some of us even had a Junior High graduation, because 7th and 8th grade meant changing classes and different teachers and science and maybe even foreign languages. We were going to high school!
But did you have a kindergarten graduation? Or a pre-school one? No? (more…)
Tags: child rearing, graduation, kindergarten
Posted in My Pet Peeves | 7 Comments »
