Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

My Neck of the Woods

long_neckI hate my neck.

Everything else about me – that I have to expose to the world – looks fine; I can style my hair, I can wear Spanx or other heavy-duty tools to hide rolls of fat. I can ever wear fake tan if I must. But my neck? Ugh. Now I know why Katherine Hepburn loved turtlenecks.

I’ve tried exercising it – smile, stop; smile, stop. I’ve tried creaming it (if you don’t use face cream on your neck and chest, you will be sorry). I’ve sat in front of a mirror and tried to figure out the exact right way to tense my muscles so it doesn’t look like crepe paper.

But it does. Damn.

I guess this is just the next hurdle I have to get over in life.  I’ve learned how to deal  with not being able to wear a bikini. Who am I kidding? Bikini? Try two piece bathing suit. Every once in a while I try one on in the privacy of my dressing room (Yes; dressing room. That’s another story.). And every time, after looking in the mirror, I’ve got to say nuh uh.

Not that I don’t see women all the time at the beach in worse shape than me, with their bellies spilling over and their back fat hanging out on the beach. But that’s not me. I remember how we used to chuckle over women like that who didn’t know when it was time to take out the one piece. That is, if they wanted to look good. Who knows? Maybe they don’t care, but I doubt it. I think they think they still look good.

So, back to my neck. I’ve managed to deal with post-50 menopause body. I’ve come to grips with gray hair. And I’ve found products to minimize larger pores.  And now I have to accept my neck.

You see, you can’t hide your neck. It’s a dead giveaway, though I’m sure there is some surgery for that, too. So, I find myself looking at older women, deciding whether or not I would have noticed their necks if I wasn’t specifically looking.

Maybe I’ll just keep looking up.

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This entry was posted on Friday, August 7th, 2009 at 12:20 PM and is filed under My Pet Peeves. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. I’m turning 54 very soon and I’ve just begun to notice little things about my neck that I don’t like. I had always hoped that when I got to ” a certain age”, things like this would not bother me but I guess I never really believed I’d ever be “a certain age.” Although my neck is starting to bother me, and believe me, I’m piling on the neck cream, other things are KILLING me, i.e., back fat (I can’t even believe that I’m saying those words about myself), belly (or muffin top) fat, fat in general, eyes getting smaller, etc.etc.etc.

  2. Linda Jade says:

    At soon-to-be-60(!)I know what you ladies are going through in the pre-during-and post menopause phases of life. It’s a time of flux physically and emotionally, and looking back on it now (I didn’t always know this when I was actually there) I think the most important thing is to be good to yourself whenever and however you can. Very important is not beating yourself up for things you can’t really change, like the neck skin thing. Necks and hands are age betrayers, but so what? do you think everyone is inspecting you for flaws– they won’t be if they’re focused on your smile and your lively eyes! Now you’re groaning and saying, yeah, right, but be honest now and think about how you see other people. You first see they way they talk and act, if they seem friendly and happy,and this is what makes them attractive or not. If they come at you with a frown or a tight mouth, then those wrinkles really stand out, don’t they? If someone has a belly bulge, it doesn’t keep you from liking the person, especially if she is interesting and fun. Let that lumpy lady wear the bikini, if she feels good about herself in it.
    On the other hand, if something that bothers you can be changed, do it. You owe it to yourself. Start exercising. I found regular exercise really helped me feel better on a lot of levels, but the key is not to plunge in with unreasonable expectations. Start out slow with a type of activity you enjoy,(mine was walking at Dorbrook park) and try to keep it up by making it part of your routine. Eat less, eat better, challenge your mind, join a reading group,volunteer, put some fun in you life and stop going on these fault-finding missions with yourself that believe me are only depressing you, and depression is not attractive. Keep up with having sex if you like it, explore masturbation if you don’t already. Don’t let a spouse or any man keep you down — likewise, don’t make everyone around you feel miserable because you’re having night sweats and hot flashes. And yes,keep up the moisturizing, and there are the turtlenecks, collars, and scarves, but wear them because you like the way they look and feel, not only to hide your aging neck. Sometimes we are are own worst enemies. This changing perception of ourselves from young babe to older babe may not be the easiest thing, but life is too short to get bogged down in all this drama. Be kind to yourself, forget the crepey neck and hold your head up and smile.
    Thanks for the blog, Lucille, you are one foxy lady (no matter how old you are!)
    Love to all

  3. Patrice says:

    Damn, I got all those “fatty” issues…gratefully, no FUPA (ha ha…ask a nurse)!
    Honestly, my neck still looks damn good. Guess I’m lucky, so far. It’s the area below my neck..upper chest…starting to wrinkle…WHAT THE F*&K????????

  4. Melissa says:

    Yeah…unfortunately, everything else on our bodies can be hidden, accentuated, or exercised, even tucked. But, our necks?! I think pictures of me smiling look great…until I see what the smile brings out in my neck! I agree w/Lucille- turtlenecks here I come! Hmmmm…..I wonder if they make a turtleneck swimsuit?

  5. Jill says:

    That is sooo funny… I was just talking about this with a friend of mine Maylee… she is a photographer and said she was giving women in their 50’s some tips… the neck is our worst enemy… she said to wear white or light colors… the days of black are gone… she also said to wear button down shirts and unbutton down close to your breast because that will draw the attention away from your neck!!!
    Thanks for sharing!!! ♥

  6. Ruthann King,Bennett says:

    I’m 60 years going on 61 in March. I have gone through Menopause over 20 years ago. I feel great!!!! I have gotten over the hurdle of worrying about fawls. I eat right, and the Doctor said He’s never seen such healthy interior in a long time,on a women of my age. I lift fity to hundred lbs every nite at work. I don’t have a desk job, I would love to be able to type all day instead of manual labor. But I keep my self active and eat right. Yes I do have loose skin an some fat rolls, plus some wrinkles. But I don’t think I’m getting younger, but I’m getting smarter at what I am.
    My Cholesterol is great and my sugar level is great as well. I don’t take any Blood pressure pills, or any kind of meds.
    I used Natural Advantage products by Jane Seymour. Expensive but I’m worth the extra cost. It helps to give me an younger look or glow. Also to control the wrinkles. I am starting Yoga to help tone some of the fat rolls. I hope it helps. I don’t worry about other people and what they think. I worry about me and me alone.
    I don’t set down at my break eating chocolate bars or drinking soda. I have a piece of fruit, raw veggie. I drink water or pomegranate juice.
    Love your articles Lucille keep it up.

  7. Hal Holst says:

    I heard of problems being bare necked, but this is Ridiculous.

  8. Marie says:

    C’mon Lucille how bad can it be? Theres always Botox or according to the Doctors show you have to look up to the ceiling with your lips puckered for a few minutes and this exercise will cure your neck ails.

  9. Barry Jay says:

    Hey, if your neck gets big afnd flabby, it will make it that much harder for Gary to get his hands wrapped around it. Not that I could imagine him doing that…

  10. Tony says:

    Okay, the neck. There is the one dead giveaway to a womans (or mans?) age… The gleaming example of this is Susan Lucci…she has been fighting a sagging war on TV for all of us to see. She can do wonders with everything except her saggy, baggy, triplefold-naggy neck. I have to say…I think everyone has given the neck a pass… nothing can be … See Moredone about it, no matter what stretching, stroking, arching, or massaging you do, it ain’t gonna help. Just paint an arrow on it pointing to your more presentable parts.

  11. Susan says:

    there’s always the Barbara Bush pearls, ha. I am fighting this one with vigilance.

  12. Kathy says:

    Two words “Lifestyle Lift”.

  13. Terri says:

    Right now coming on 50, I am really bothered by the “jowls”. My face just seems rounder and my cheeks are dropping! Haven’t gotten to the really wrinkled neck yet.

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