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Archive for the ‘No Curves Zone’ Category

The “No Curves” Zone Joke of the Day

Saturday, July 18th, 2009

Thanks to my wife, Catherine, for this one. It’s time for the family vacation, so we’re off to the land of maple syrup, favorable currency conversions, and Cuban cigars.

After being married for 35 years, I took a careful look at my wife and said, “Thirty-five years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV. But I got to sleep every night with a hot 21 year old girl.”

“Now I’ve got a home valued at $750,000, a $40,000 car, nice king-size bed and two plasma screen TVs. But I’m sleeping with a 56-year old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”

My wife is a reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 21-year old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis.

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The “No Curves” Zone: Love is a Battlefield

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

The hoopla surrounding the death of Michael Jackson overwhelmed a number of other stories that raise the issue of how love and commitment is defined in today’s world. There were the revelations of Nevada Senator John Ensign’s affair with a campaign aide, and his alleged violation of state and federal laws by placing the woman, her husband and their son on his Senate payroll while the affair was in full swing. Next came South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s affair with a woman in Argentina, his extraordinary press conference, the publishing of personal and intimate letters between the two, and revelations of other affairs that have put Sanford (like Ensign, an early favorite for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination) out on a ledge. Now we have the strange case of Steve McNair, the former professional football player, who was shot by his 20-year old lover in what police are calling a murder-suicide.

Setting aside the political impact of Ensign’s and Sanford’s behavior, and the damage to McNair’s image as a football “hero,” one has to ask: Why would these successful men, who have lived their lives in the public eye and worked hard to cultivate a positive image, act so recklessly? (more…)

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“No Curves Zone” Joke of the Day!

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

(Thanks to Dr. Michael Preston for this one)

A middle-aged man was riding his Harley-Davidson along a California highway when suddenly the sky clouded over his head, and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have tried to live a good life and have been faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The man pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want…”

The Lord said, “That request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking — the supports needed to reach the bottom of the Pacific and all the concrete and steel it would take! It would nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for wordly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.” (more…)

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Welcome to the “No Curves Zone”

Saturday, June 20th, 2009

When I heard my friend Lucille was starting this website, I was intrigued. As a middle-aged man married to a woman who fits the demographic Lucille is appealing to, I wondered what would make this site different from the hundreds or thousands out there like it. I thought one thing that might help is to provide a man’s perspective. After all, we have been living with you as you gracefully age. We are first-hand witnesses to your good times and bad, your successes in the workplace and your misgivings as you look in the mirror. You don’t think we are paying attention, but we do. We always have…

I don’t see this is an “advice” column. I’ve been involved with the same woman now for twenty years, and the success in this relationship has in no small part been due to my not giving unsolicited advice. The man who starts the sentence “Let me tell you how to solve that problem,” is the man who can’t understand why he’s always getting the death stare from his woman! I hope to be able to make observations on men and women at this interesting time in their lives. If you want advice, consult all those magazines at the check-out line in the grocery store. But I look forward to questions, comments, complaints (as if I don’t get enough of those now!), etc. I also hope we can have some fun with this, as well.

By the way, the attached picture was taken in Venice, Italy two years ago. I figure back in the 15th century this guy was giving some woman advice…and look what it did for him!

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Introducing. . . the “No Curves Zone”

Saturday, June 20th, 2009

Very soon you’ll be seeing posts from a new, special contributor: David Alexander. I’ve know Dave since 1970 and I’ve asked him to add his voice – from the “No Curves Zone.” While we all know men who are going through mid-life crises and looking to younger and younger women to validate themselves, Dave is a man who seems to see the value in we BBs.