Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

Do Heels Deserve Our Heart & Soul?

Men will never understand the relationship women have with shoes.

I know that’s a blanket statement and I realize not every woman can relate. . . but I also know that most women over 40 – in fact all women – love our shoes.  We don’t all treat them with loving care. But we don’t all treat our men/partners that way either. But we do indeed form relationships with our pumps, sandals and wedgies that defy logic or, better stated, define us.

Now, if you’re one of those women who defiantly pooh-pooh the rest of us for our zapato zest, you may as well sign off right now. Because this, my dears, is an ode to shoes.

They aren’t just a fashion statement, although they can certainly “make” an outfit. They aren’t just a possession that we hoard – though some of us (ahem) simply cannot throw away a pair of shoes that have served us well. . . or that were very, very inexpensive. Or that look really, really good but really really hurt our feet.

Why is it that we have this relationship with shoes?

It may just be because it’s really hard to look bad in a good pair of shoes. You may be overweight or your clothes may be nothing to write home about. But if you are wearing a sweet pair of stilettos, that is what will be noticed. A great pair of shoes can overcome other shortfalls with the people who really count. And you know those people are other women. Because regardless of how much we want to attract the opposite sex, our clothes, our makeup, our hair, our skin are all meant to get the approval of the rest of the pack.

How do I know? Well, consider this. I don’t know a man who doesn’t love long hair – even if it’s stringy or shapeless or scraggly. So, how many of you have shoulder length hair? My point, exactly.

But, getting back to shoes. What else do shoes give us? Singularity. Yes, even when we women “dressed for success” in the 80s and 90s in our tailored gray suites and bowtie blouses, our shoes still let us stand out. And not just from each other. Our shoes let us stand out from men.We can pick shoes to make us taller, make our legs look sexy, let us show our painted toenails. We can wear red shoes, green shoes, hot pink shoes. Men, on the other hand,  wear boring, boring black and brown and – if they’re real fashion forward – gray shoes. Even the edgiest male dresser can’t come close to our choices in shoes, even if he wanted to.

I wonder. I know men want to get in our pants. But do you want to get in our shoes, too?

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 25th, 2013 at 1:27 PM and is filed under Fashion, Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. John Zennario says:

    There is nothing as beautiful as a woman in heels.

  2. Judy Herring says:

    Yep…Love my shoes!! I agree, it is almost impossible to part with a pair of shoes! Whenever I clean out my closet (which is not often) I can part with shirts, pants, skirts, but not the shoes! Just the other day, I went shoe shopping with my daughter Cathy and bought the cutest pick and peach colored flip flops that have a big leather bow on top! At that time, I was wearing black leggings and a simple black and white top, but those flip flops turned that outfit into something amazing!! I have a male friend who loves to wear high heals, alright..he is gay and loves to cross dress..he says they make him feel sexy!!! Right on!!!

  3. Chris Munson says:

    My 3 year old granddaughter recently announced to her mother that the sneakers newly purchased for her use were unacceptable due to the shape and color. The kid already has a closet full of shoes of all shapes, sizes and shades to select from, and mulls over the choices with a grave concentration when preparing for preschool in the morning. My 8 year old grandson wears his shoes and sneakers until they disintegrate, mindless as to whether anyone cares, knowing his classmates could care less. In fact he prefers going barefoot, even in this wintery season in Chicago, and recently, late for the bus, ran barefooted through the snow with his shoes in hand to catch it. This conclusively proves that the female shoe fetish is inbred to the sex, and likely began when Ogluka, the cave woman complained to her mate Ogluck that the bear fur foot coverings were so last year, and promised certain favors if only he could get some of those beaver pelt coverings to wear this year for her hairy feet.

  4. Laura Brown says:


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