Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

Find My Shoes

At some point, we all (hopefully) learn to discriminate between the good and the bad. Men, that is. It’s not simply about earning capacity or looks or size (that, my friends, is a post all its own). No; it is about the shoes.  And, when I say “shoes,” I am using shoes as a metaphor for “selfish as shit”. But, for you to understand, I need to tell this story from my friend “Sparrow” as an allegory:

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sparrow who was lucky enough to snag a really handsome hunk, “Don”. Now, Sparrow was quite a looker herself, but Don was a real catch and she knew it. So, when he suggested a romantic evening in the front seat of his car, she was all for it ( this was back in the day when “hooking up” was called “parking”).

Clothes came undone and they were (somewhat) skin to skin when a police officer pulled up behind them (to get his cheap thrills, no doubt, by shining a flashlight on the not-so-concealed sweethearts). As usual in a situation such as this, she was much more exposed. So, how did this Lothario react? Did he throw her blouse to her or try to otherwise help her cover her exposed bosom?

Oh no. His reaction was “Find my shoes” because, as we all know, being found parking on a dark night in a secluded area without your shoes on could have ruined his future! Find my shoes! Not, “Take my tie”  or “Oh, shit, your boobs are showing.” No, no. “Find my shoes.”

Sparrow knew then that Don was a selfish prick, and she dropped him like a hot potato. Then, she found a guy who, in the same situation, rushed to hand her a jacket to cover up with, and they lived happily ever after.

The moral? Make sure your guy  cares more about your dignity than his grooming.

Or, don’t undress in the car.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, February 27th, 2010 at 11:56 AM and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. David Alexander says:

    Maybe Sparrow should consider renting a motel room in the future! That way her dignity wouldn’t be the issue — just her lack of good sense.

  2. Judy Herring says:

    Since I used to call it “parking”, too – those youngsters out there need to know that’s how we used to “hook-up”. And, you know what?? Everyone of us has a great parking story – think about it, maybe you could use that subject on a future blog Lucille. Anyway…there is no greater indicator to find out what a man is made of like getting “caught”. Doesn’t make any difference what the act is – it’s about getting “busted”. All of a sudden, he is pinned up against the wall, he has no time to calculate his next move, he has to do the first thing that comes to his mind. Is he apologetic, does he try to lie is way out, is he honest, or is he only concerned about finding his shoes. Sparrow put her guys through the ultimate test and she won –

  3. Tony Paccione says:

    Hey! you’re jumping too quick on Don! Maybe his PBA card was in his Capezios!! ok, perhaps not. We all know by now that women mature faster and often to a higher level than men do. I have to give Don a pass here…. he was inexperienced and reacted without thinking the situation thru. I have been in that exact same situation NUMEROUS times and I always faced it with humor. In fact I (we) had an officer walk up on us at Riis Beach in NY – we were completely nude (after all it was known to be nude beach) I laid right there with the cop standing over me fully clothed! I don’t know if you can imagine that situation, but ya’ gotta have cojones the size of… well you know… to do that. Cop said to me “you’re about thisclose (making the size of an inch with his thumb and forefinger) to getting arrested, and I replied only that close? I was thinking at least a 9 inches!! big cojones indeed!! lol lets see: Long branch, Yonkers, Cornwall, Sunnyside Queens, four places that immediately come to mind where the officer got a flashlight full of booty! Anyone will tell you though, i’m not easily embarrased, they’re human they’ve seen it before!
    oh! would I cover my girl? most def! I would like to say that I was ALMOST always the complete gentleman where a girl was concerned. There were a few exceptions, and there is ALWAYS someone around to point out those exceptions.

  4. Bonny says:

    LOL. Good one Tony! PBA card in his Capezios. And I haven’t heard the name Capezio in a couple decades. At least. Do you still have yours? I would bet anything that you do.

    Funny story about the nude beach.

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