Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

Don’t Get Hysterical

Don’t deny it; you know you do it. You may pretend you don’t, but let’s be honest; you schedule that “special time” with yourself. I don’t care what you call it and I don’t care how you do it. Maybe you don’t have a vibrator at the side of your bed. Maybe you just “hold” your need to urinate long enough for the pressure to build to the point of ecstasy – or you simply lean against the washing machine during an especially vigorous mode. But you do it.

Sure, we might not have the sex drive we had in our 20s or 30s. We may not even want to have sex with our partners at all. All I know is that I’m wistful for that time when you could go to the doctor for a “treatment” that not only feels so good – but could be paid for by your health insurance.They used to claim it was treatment for hysteria That’s got a nice ring to it.  Because sometimes, it might be the only thing that keeps you sane

Can you imagine going to your doctor for a “pelvic massage” or “hydrotherapy” to achieve an “hysterical paroxysm” like women did for hundreds of years? The thought alone makes me downright giddy.  Why, I’d even be willing to pay out-of-pocket.  Imagine how much money could be made . . . the clinics, the apparatus, the advertising dollars spent. We could have our own Guilded Age! It could be a veritable gold mine! Which makes me wonder: could this be the solution to the health care and the budget problem in this country?

Quick: somebody call John Boehner. I’ll bet his wife will thank us.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, July 10th, 2011 at 1:04 PM and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Lynn says:

    Geez Lucille! Take one of those weekly Bed, Bath, & Beyond coupons and go buy a handheld Shower Massage shower head – trust me, one that pulses… ah….

  2. Bud from Bayonne says:

    Dear Ladies,

    If that need ever arises and you really want nothing more than to lay back and relax all you need to do is call Dr. Bud from Bayonne for one of his all purpose cure all
    “Beef Injections” to get you back on your feet!!!! Remember to look in your local paper for the 20% discount coupons!!!!

  3. Tony says:

    Have your man buy a Harley and go with him for a ride. Suddenly you’ll all love being “biker chics”…. Dem bikes “shake a tailfeather!”… lol

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