Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

But Does it Really Keep on Ticking?

You remember those old commercials, where a Timex watch gets really put through the ringer – stomped on, thrown across the room you name it – but nonetheless, it keeps on working. Samsonite luggage gets thrown from a plane and it’s unscathed. A Bic pen gets shot out of a gun and, by golly, it still works! You watch Mad Men now and you see them coming up with these kind of ideas for ad campaigns, knowing that most people will just believe them. Well, not me. I had to test them for myself. And I still do.

I always was a doubter – maybe that’s why I ended up in advertising myself – and whenever I could, I would put products to the test. Bic pen on an ice skate? Well. . . maybe scratching it across a block of ice.  It was watery, but it did still work. Comet vs. Ajax? Mom just couldn’t understand why I had smeared grape jelly all over the sink. “But Mom, I’m testing!” did not go over too well.

So, I’ve stuck with Comet (it really was better!) and I do have a few Timex watches (though I never had the nerve to actually drop one even from the second floor), but now the products I buy that promise incredible efficacy are much harder to judge. Tooth whitening tooth paste? Before and after pictures just aren’t clear enough (and I have a feeling Gary wouldn’t really be interested in photographing my mouth with his high end camera). But there are at least some products I can test – and measure results for – for myself. And I am.

I have begun a very scientific – and maybe dangerous – clinical trial of my own. It has a very small sample – just me – but, what do I care if it works or doesn’t for anybody else? This is my trial, my results and my risk. I am on week one of a four week test of Garnier Ultra-Lift Daily Targeted Wrinkle Treatment. Oh, but this is a REAL test. . . because I’m only using it on one side of my face. Of course I’m using it on only one side! How else could I really compare?

And there, my sisters, is where the danger comes in. Why danger? Well, can you imagine if it really does work? In four weeks, I could look like a stroke victim, with one side of my face wrinkly and dragging and the other side tight and firm. So, some props here. I am risking everything to give my over 40 sisters real, scientifically tested results on a product you no doubt already need, just so you can get true, unbiased information.

Oh, except for on my neck. After all, I’m not an idiot. If this stuff works, I need it NOW.

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This entry was posted on Friday, February 22nd, 2013 at 2:31 PM and is filed under Grooming. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. David Alexander says:

    Photos! We want photos! Time-lapse photos would be best!!

  2. David Berkowitz says:

    I like testing the outrageous claims myself, after all maybe there is a gem in all that dross. Read an article about the healing power of magnets. Went out and bought a large box of them and stitched them into a spare sweatshirt and put it on. Felt great but had to cut the experiment short because every time I went into the kitchen my wife had to follow after me in order to peel me off the refrigerator.
    Hey you can’t win them all….

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