Beyond Babedom

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Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid. . . or Not

We no longer believe the fairy tale that men are fearless. Which is good. Men are people, too! But I’ve discovered something that  men fear so much that you can’t even get them to talk about it. What is it that makes strong men quiver with fear and tremble with anxiety? Here’s a hint: it only affects straight men.

It’s the deep, overwhelming fear that someone will think they are gay.

OMG. What will they do if someone thinks they’re gay? What horrible, horrible fate will befall them if the stranger passing them on the street thinks, because they are wearing a pinkish shirt, that they love men? Talk about chicken little.

Many women get hit on by lesbians but we don’t go around trying to prove we’re hetero.  Sometimes, we even pretend we are gay. Personally, I think it’s flattering when a lesbian finds me attractive. Who doesn’t like being admired and desired? I’ll tell you who: straight men. . . when it comes to other men.  I call them the Gay-Afraid. The Gay-Afraid have to watch how they talk, how they hold their wrists (Oooooh. Limp wrist! Must be gay!),  how much affection they show. This isn’t something women seem to worry about. It doesn’t stop some of us from wearing baggy, unattractive men’s clothing. Or telling another woman how great she (or her shoes) look. Or kissing each other. Or showing unbridled affection in public. It doesn’t even stop us from actually sleeping in the same bed with another woman.

But men? They even have to watch their vocabulary. After all, using the word “wonderful” can be a sign of homosexuality. What about dancing? Ha. Not to mention ballet. . .

Not all men are such wusses. And by wusses I mean Gay-Afraid. Ben Cohen, rugby legend, has a huge fan following of gay men. He  left rugby to form an organization to combat bullying and loves  the fact that gay men find him attractive. But he is the exception. (Raise your hand if you’re thinking “Gay.”)

Just think about the guys you know. How often do they hug other guys ? Or refuse to wear a piece of clothing because of the color? How often do you hear the phrase “That’s gay” as an excuse not to do/say something?  What a pity.

So tell me, guys: what is the worst thing that would happen if someone thought you were gay? Is it like having cooties, where no one will want to sit next to you at a business meeting? Is it like having a communicable disease where people will jump out of the pool when you get in? Will a gay guy hit on you and make you uncomfortable?

Or are you afraid that you are gay?

What you should really be thinking about is what you’re missing by being Gay-Afraid: closer relationships, more fun, even the ability to attract more women (what woman doesn’t love a man who can dance?). Even missing friendships with so many really great gay guys. What a pity.

Which leads me to one more thing men are really, really afraid of.

That their penis is too small. But that’s for another blog post.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 24th, 2012 at 6:00 AM and is filed under men. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Tony says:

    Well this ain’t for me. This is for other men. But I must admit I do not like other men casually touching me. It makes me really uncomfortable. I also felt really uncomfortable when a lady in the office had a habit of putting her hands on my shoulders while I was sitting. But i’m thinking its because I didn’t find her attractive at all.

    Guys and girls have been wondering/guessing/intimating if i’m gay since 1977. Why? Because I like to dance, I like fashion, I like decorating, I don’t sound “thuggish”. It has almost gotten me attacked several times.

    I have been excluded from a club once, I think because I approached the entrance with my buddy who was a sharp sharp looking handsome guy; I think the jerk at the door thought we were “a couple” I was really fkin mad that night, and never went back because of these preconceived notions. Anyway… naaah, I don’t care if people think i’m gay.

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