Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

Nip/Tuck Cut/Paste

Remember that guy, from way back when, who broke your heart? Is there any fantasy more rewarding than showing him, decades later, what a big mistake he made?

Well, BBs, you can. Just use the poor woman’s plastic surgery.

(It’s how Kelly Clarkson aced this photo shoot)

Nothing feels better than letting someone who broke your heart see exactly what he’s missed out on. And there is no better place than on Facebook. Keep in mind that just about every guy we’ve dated is probably going through his midlife crisis right about now. And his vision of you is the you from high school or back in the day. “But I don’t look that good anymore,” you might say. “I’m not the person he remembers.” Well, neither is he. And chances are the only place he’s going to see you now is on FaceBook. And you get to choose what he sees there.

So, you are the girl he remembers. Or at least you can be.

It used to be called retouching or “airbrushing;” now most professional “illusionists” use a digital editing program allows them to make those celebrities and models look flawless. Yes, ladies, they aren’t as perfect as they look. None of them. Digital editing corrects everything from crow’s feet to flabby arms or back fat. (See the Faith Hill before and after).

Now, obviously, most of these women look pretty good to start out. But you’d be amazed at what even you could do with a simple digital editing program (and you might even already have it on your computer.) Meanwhile, he lost his hair, gained 65 pounds and has more chins than San Francisco. And you, my dear, look fabulous.

So, if you follow my instructions not only will you cause him at least a modicum of angst and regret, you will feel great every time you sign on to FaceBook.¬† First, you’ll discover that finding an old flame is fun; making him jealous or at least wistful for the old days is even funner. Using digital editing to give you that celebrity sheen is funner yet – and cheaper than Botox or plastic surgery.

Posting¬† your “enhanced” photograph on FaceBook is at least no more duplicitous than he was when he vowed to love you forever.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, March 6th, 2010 at 11:05 AM and is filed under Grooming. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Kirk Shorte says:

    Hahahahahaha,

    That’s a good one. But I’ve learned to stay away from photos of women who post Glam shots of themselves. Since I know how to create them I am assured that without the glamorizing they look hideous….

  2. David Alexander says:

    Here’s one reason a lot of folks don’t post photos of themselves on Facebook. Too much drama!!

  3. marianne steinmetz says:

    Isn’t that the greatest part about reaching the beyondbabedom age…….do you even remember… what’s his name?

  4. Stefan Pinto says:

    Finding an old flame is fun, indeed! xoxo

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