Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

Use Me, Baby

Wilhelmina Slater, the cold, calculating editor of the fictional fashion magazine Mode, is “Ugly Betty’s” polar opposite. Or is she? In a recent episode, holier-than-thou Betty resorted to going on a date with someone she detested to get something she needed. Sound familiar?

Admit it; no matter how good and honest and righteous you think you are, isn’t there at least one occasion in your life when you used a man to get something you needed or wanted? Before you get all “I’m not that kind of girl,” think again. Ever subtly flirt with the motor vehicle inspection guy to distract him from the black smoke billowing from your tailpipe? Ever cry crocodile tears when the traffic cop approached your vehicle? Ever wear a slightly shorter skirt, a tight blouse, some perfume when you have an important interview/meeting/conversation?

Be honest; we all have been nice to a real jerk because we knew he had some influence on our job/tax assessment/driving record. So, yes, we were using them, sometimes subtly, sometimes overtly, to get what we wanted. But, is that so bad?

I took a graduate level course in economics, in a misguided effort to advance my banking career (right; me in banking). I was totally confused and dreading the midterm (it really isn’t a good idea to fall asleep in class too often), so I solicited help from a co-worker who was a real wiz – and a real asshole. I “played nice” to get his help, even though I truly despised him at the time. And I passed the course. Was that so terrible?

Of course, you can go to extremes with this approach, like marrying someone who is financially secure just to be “taken care of.” Who gets hurt in the long run? Usually, you do (or so it seems when I hear women talk about their dismal marriages).

So, why do women do this? Not to say men don’t, but in this society, we are at a disadvantage: they have the money and the power. They control the boardrooms, so we must control the bedrooms. The one thing we’ve got over them is our sexuality, or rather, theirs. Yes, as Mata Hari and Cleopatra knew, it’s the one thing they have no defense against (unless you count the hijab or the nun’s habit, which are really one and the same).

So, don’t feel bad if you “use” a man on occasion. Just do it wisely. After all, they can’t help themselves.

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This entry was posted on Friday, March 19th, 2010 at 10:25 AM and is filed under Relationships, Socializing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Christine says:

    I once went out with a guy who bought me a new stereo system (back in the days of BIG speakers). We broke up soon afterwards. I started going out with him again when my VCR (I know! I’m that old!) went on the fritz. But he used me for home-cooked meals. And no, I don’t feel bad about myself.

  2. David Alexander says:

    I’m reminded of that Bill Withers song: “Keep on using me, until you use me up!”

  3. DJC says:

    I’m in mourning for the loss of Ugly Betty…she could really pick ’em and knew what to do with them…and isnt it interesting to observe how the girls used each other???

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