Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.


Remember Monica from “Friends”? How she’s so obsessive, competitive and bossy? Know anyone like that? I do.


Maybe I’m not as bad as Monica (I’m certainly not as “tidy”). But I could give her a run for her money. I wonder sometimes if more of you out there have these same obsessive/compulsive tendencies and are just better at hiding them than I am. I really have to fight them – do you know how hard it is not to switch someone else’s toilet paper when they have it wrong?

I get through my OCD life by making rules for myself that I occasionally try to rationalize to my friends (“I always take this lane at this time of the day because the other lanes back up.”) or by trying to convince them that they, too, should clean one room at a time vs. vacuuming the whole house at once. My rules?

– Always walk on the right hand side of the sidewalk. Unless you’re in Japan. People expect it.

– Toilet paper: over; always over (sorry I changed yours, Maggie).

– Floss after every meal (Carry floss sticks – lots of floss sticks)

– All like-color blouses hang together; do not intermingle long sleeves and short sleeves.

– Never, ever throw anything out that you might possibly need at sometime in the future (do you know how often you need a small bolt?).

– Never wear a collarless top under a jumper (and when is the last time I wore a jumper?)

– You must read the rules before starting a game. As Monica once said, “Rules help control the fun.”

– Spices in alphabetical order!

– Christmas tree decorations must be evenly spaced (Reminder: don’t have another tree decorating party)

– Blink right eye? Blink left eye!

– Never, ever get photographs out of order (discreetly number them).

– Trying to get something done? Hum a marching tune. In a hurry? Hum that classical, gypsy-ish song you don’t know the name of.

– Test taking? Never go back over your answers.

– Think you’re right? Do not give up until you prove it.

– Think you’re wrong? Come on; I only have these rules for things that really happen.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, November 11th, 2010 at 6:39 PM and is filed under My Pet Peeves. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. donna says:

    Let’s just say that when I moved to NY from CA, I had newspaper cutouts of all my furniture so that when the moving van arrived to my new city apt I had everything already arranged! I think all of the above is quite normal.

  2. David says:

    To say this list is scary is an understatement. Aren’t you really tired at the end of the day? Spices in alphabetical order — Yikes!! Thank God I suffer from ADD.

  3. Kathy says:

    Sadly I too fall into those types of categories. Nail polish in the correct color order? Setting up my alarm clock as well as my coffee pot using my birthday- 5:23. Had to be.
    I would never think twice about changing someones toilet paper roll if it was set up the “wrong way”. It would be difficult not to.
    I agree with Donna. These things are normal. What is the problem?

  4. I hang my clothes from a clothes line where I ALWAYS hang them by color, transitioning from blue to blue and green print to green and so on.

  5. Linda S says:

    I thought I was the only one that changed peoples toilet paper !LOL

  6. Sue N says:

    Ashamed to say, me too! My sister and I have a running battle over it, and I always tell her she does it wrong!!! Even though that’s the way she wants it, I think she should do it my way!

  7. Susan says:

    Let’s not overlook toilet seats, cabinets and drawers left ajar & venetian blinds or shutters turned inside out..I’m just saying..I’m right with all certainty and feng shui

  8. Ruthann King,Bennett says:

    I never throw anything out. Oh my, I keep saying I will get rid of things. I still have my Son’s GI Joe dolls. All those game pieces that you save hoping you will bye another game and use them.
    My Christmas tree has to be done by me. I do the same thing. I have to evenly spaced all the decorations on the tree.
    At work, I might have 25.30 hrs of work to do in 6 hrs. I hum marching tunes to fly through, fast.
    I always think I’m right. But, I will prove it, I will go to no length to prove it.
    I never go back over a test. I know, I’m that sure of my answers. YES!!! I always get 100% on test at work. I love being this way. Oh by the way, I too clean one room at a time. YES!!!!

  9. How about money? It drives me CRAZY when store clerks or bank tellers hand me money turned every which way. I have to keep mine facing the same direction, right sides up and in denomination order. But at least I’m not as bad as a friend’s (ex) husband, who actually reordered the money in her wallet – and stapled it to keep it in order. Wonder why he’s her ex?

  10. Michael Winslow says:

    I now understand how you and Sharon became friends…..maybe you can tell me why she can clean my office but I cant touch hers!!!!!! Is your money in order in your wallet as well?

  11. Barry Jay says:

    Geesh, I hope Gary Sleeps with one eye open…

  12. Camille says:

    I think we all have some OCD tendedcnies. I also change peoples’toilet paper. And it makes sense to have your paper money in denominational order so you don’t mistake a $20 for a $5. But I must say Lucille, I think you’re a little nuts.

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