Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

Cry, Cry, Baby

We all know the routine: guy falls for girl, girl falls for guy, guy cheats on girl, girl falls apart. Except for one thing – it’s really the guys who can’t handle the strain.

Yeah, I know the “hell hath no fury” blah blah blah but it’s just not true. I’ve said it before (see Hell Hath No Fury. . . Give Me a Break!, October 22nd, 2009) and now I have scientific evidence to back me up (as if I needed it). A survey of 1,611 men and women, aged 18-23 in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior confirms what I’ve known all along: tempestuous relationships are a lot harder on men than on women.

Oh, yeah, we women get all weepy and moon and moan and call our girlfriends, but actually that’s one of the reasons we take it better. We’ve got someone to talk to. Or many someones. Who do men have? I can imagine a 24 year old guy calling his buddy and saying, “What did I do wrong? I feel like eating a gallon of Hagen Daz” as much as I can imagine a guy actually having groceries in his place. And, apparently (and this is really pathetic) women in general simply want to be in any relationship, no matter how crummy because so many of us need a man to confirm our self worth (some of us, anyway. Present company excluded).  Men, on the other hand, take the strife all too personally.

Yes – that’s right – men take it too personally. You namby pambies.

According to the study, probably the main reason for these differences is that men concentrate on the here and now  while women think long term. We use “web” thinking. We think about how one action impacts the next. Like planning a meal, or a vacation or Christmas shopping. And it means thinking about the consequences of what you’re doing, like, for example, realizing  that the sink shouldn’t go in the same place that you want the door to swing into.

So, yes, that closet he built that’s too shallow  for you to use hangars? That’s because somebody made him cry.

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This entry was posted on Monday, July 26th, 2010 at 7:21 PM and is filed under men. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Bob M says:

    And this confirms what I’ve always known: Women are more likely to relish anything that shines a negative light on men, whereas men are less likely to broadcast women’s flaws with the same venomous pride. Emasculation seems to lift the female spirit in telling ways. Men clearly have fewer bottled up issues to contend with. Perhaps all the resentment over childbirth pain & that pesky monthly visitor builds up over time & causes a need to vent in whatever way is most convenient – in this case, a scientific survey. Whatever helps, I say. If the womenfolk need surveys like this to get all that pent-up crap out of their system, then I’m all for it. Have at it, gals! I need to get back to watching “Say Anything” now. I’m right at the scene where he’s about to say, “I give her my heart & she gives me a pen.” Gets me every time. I’m a wimp that way.

  2. Margot says:

    This has got to be a joke. It’s way too scary to think that this could be the actual reply!!!!

  3. Richard H says:

    Not interested in “the battle of the sexes” Everyone is a loser.

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