Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With . . .

The big scene in Academy Award-winning Little Miss Sunshine is funny enough to make you wet your pants: slightly overweight, innocent pre-teen Olive does an hilarious burlesque version of  “Super Freak” that her strip-club-loving grandfather choreographed, while the parents of the other hotted-up little girl contestants watch, mortified. It’s obvious Olive has no inkling that pulling the scarf through her legs is naughty.

For some reason it makes me think about the totally sexualized existence girls reside in now. Five year olds wear skimpy bikinis. Gyrating eight and nine year olds bump and grind in a national dance contest to “Single Ladies”, with their cracks showing and in full-fledged hooker attire. And eleven year olds are sending boys nude photos of themselves – sexting. Hey, but wasn’t sexual freedom what we feminists fought for? On the contrary,  to me classifying eroticized little girls as  a form of sexual freedom means we’re come a long way, baby. . . in the wrong direction.

We may not have had to deal with any STD other than gonorrhea back in the 60s and 70s, and we may not have spoken the word vagina, even to our gynecologists, but we did try to understand our sex drives and figure out how to enjoy our bodies. Yes, we taught ourselves how to masturbate.

We would go parking and “make out” with boys that we really, really liked. Sometimes they touched us; sometimes we touched them. But we did it because it felt good. Now, girls  “hook up” with a casualness that is astounding. Sexuality – for girls – isn’t about sexual satisfaction anymore. It’s not about the groping and the sexual tension of necking.  It’s more about looking sexual and acting turned on.  Oral sex isn’t sex anymore; it’s as impersonal as  a game of spin-the-bottle but with a more copious exchange of fluids . .  . rather, not an exchange.  It’s all pretty one-sided.

So, now girls perform and flaunt but do they feel? When teenage girls talk about sex and how their bodies feel, more often than not they talk about how their bodies look instead.

Back in the 60’s & 70’s (dare I admit), we’d watch older girls dressing a little provocatively and fantasize about when we could. Sure, there were always a couple of slutty girls (as we called them) who wore low cut tops or really tight pants, but we knew dressing in a sensual and tantalizing way was something to look forward to when we  were women.

What do they have to look forward to now?

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This entry was posted on Thursday, June 24th, 2010 at 5:59 PM and is filed under My Pet Peeves, Social Issues. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Kirk Shorte says:

    So, what’s the answer? There’s a bit of instinctual acting out and a whole lot of societal examples that make it almost impossible to see what the young perceive as things to aspire to that we older folk call base… How can we stop the commercial machine that is cranking out sexy crap faster than the Concord?

  2. David Alexander says:

    I would separate the bizarre beauty pageants from other behavior you describe. The parents who put their daughters on the stage are just as evil as the pnes who insist their sons learn to throw a curve ball at the age of ten so he can be a better pitcher in Little League. Boys run the risk of physical damage that will mainfest itself soon. The damage to girls will be harder to see, especially if ignored by their glory seeking parents.

    As the father of 12-year old twins (boy and girl), I’m sensitive to the other issues Lucille raises. I was exposed to much of the behavior described above as my kids just completed the sixth grade. The fact that some kids are getting over 100 text messages a day (according to one study by the Pew Research Council) suggests there is no filter. To my admittedly old way of thinking, Lady Gaga is no different from Madonna of 25 years ago. Today’s technology allows unfettered access to images, and there is no time to think or feel. And as long as there is a buck to be made, the long-term consequences will be an afterthought.

  3. Susan says:

    “.. since MY late 20’s I have noticed the change to casualness..AND, pondered how much of this is a swing towards sex without emotional attachment for women (equality? with many/or the traditional men’s approach). I think that I could accept that and go with that if we had the reciprocal act for women (see??? my generation & I can’t even SPELL or bring myself to SAY cunnilingus..can you?). Nope, no casualness towards sex as women, we are as cave man as ever..our females are desperately displaying their wares for survival of the fittest, even wearing heels & shoes that prevent escape, like the binding of feet in ancient Japan.”

  4. A says:

    OK … this time you struck a nerve for me… my 24 year old daughter is about to get married to the guy she has been living with since they graduated collage together.

    Back when she was in high school and college the sexting thing and the casual oral thing was just staring to happen… and she actually spoke to me about this… we always had a great dad/daughter relationship.

    I told her that back in the day (the mid 60’s) you didn’t kiss the boy until the 3rd date… or maybe second date if you really “liked” each other… A “french” kiss would be really special… the girl was in control… after a number of additional dates the guy hopefully progressed to “petting”… maybe 2nd base… 3rd base took along time since the girl would be scared that the boy would brag about it and she would become a “slut”…. then if the guy kept the “secret” (secret to everyone but the girl’s most best friends) you moved on to “heavy” petting… at that point it was mutual masturbation… but so much fun and no worry about getting pregnant…. real sex was saved for the “I love you statement”… like the Meatloaf song …. “stop right now… will you love me forever….”

    Then things changed… the “free sex” era of the late 60’s & early 70’s… and now it’s 40 years later… sex things shouldn’t be so “casual”… but despite all the effort, when I was a teen I really enjoyed what I had to go through to get a “home run” back in the day… the “rewards” were so much more meaningful.

  5. Michael B says:

    Thanks… really… thanks… It’s not as if I don’t know about the hypersexuality of girls my daughters age. I do and I freak out about about every 5 seconds. This is insane and it represents the worst kind of selfish retarded parenting. When you have a child your first resposonsibiityis to that child becoming a complete, centered, happy, productive adult, capabable of finding the RIGHT partner to repeat the process successfully.

  6. Patrice says:

    As a parent of a 14 year old daughter, I’m mortified at what’s in store for me. My oldest daughter, soon to be 28, always shared with me the things the “other kids” were doing as well as what she was doing—sometimes against my wishes!!! (she sure did like to share)
    My 16 year old son has his hormones screaming and has a girlfriend..okay, now I’m shaking.
    Sex is not what it was 30+ years ago, when I was a teenager. We would lose our virginity at what I thought was an ungodly age of 16….now, if they make it to 14, they’re social retards. Please, God, let my kids be social retards.

  7. Richard H says:

    If it weren’t for “organized” religion, life would be a lot more satisfying. they scorn gambling – but never bingo. They put a million rules into sex, making it a mockery. Best if you all just stay the hell out of my bedroom – or you might just learn something.

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