Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

De-Cluttering Your Life

Doesn’t it feel great to get rid of stuff? You know, streamline, reorganize, declutter. It always gives me such a good  feeling to put bags and bags of clothes out for a charity to take away. Ah! Closet space! Funny; we love acquiring things – shopping, collecting for hobbies, scrap-booking – but eliminating things from our life can be almost as rewarding. . . and sometimes,  even more so. Occasionally, the things you most need to get rid of  are . . . your friends.Okay; not all of your friends. But aren’t there people in your life who just bog you down? People who may have at one time had something in common with you, but now. . . you wonder why you don’t just delete them from your memory and  your cell phone. Just like old tchotchkes that gather dust and take up space in your house, these friends take up space in your life. You know what I’m talking about. That woman who you used to have lunch with every day on your first job who now has absolutely nothing in common with you. In fact, she’s still at that same job. Or your old disco buddy who is still hitting the clubs. Or the mother of the kid who used to hang out with your kid. . .who’s now 34.

Not that there’s inherently anything wrong with these people. We just outgrow them. It’s not that you dislike them, but when their name comes up on your caller ID. . . well, let’s say, you’re just glad you have  caller ID.  Sometimes – most  of the time – you don’t have the energy to carry on a conversation with them. Which is usually the “tell”: you run out of talk once you’ve “caught up” on the old job, their kid, your old dance partners. You see, there is a reason to leave them in your iPhone –  so you can avoid them.

But how do you break up with them without feeling guilty? Most of us try to let these relationships die a slow death; we don’t return calls, we make up excuses not to get together. Basically, we do all the same things we would do if it we wanted a guy to take a hint. Breaking up is so hard to do.

So, what’s a girl to do? Keep up the charade and hope you don’t pick up their call by mistake? Lie and say you’re about to get a tooth drilled whenever they ring you up? Pretend you’re out of the country when they invite you to a party?

Oh – and  if I’ve ever used these excuses with you, I really, really meant it. Really.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 1st, 2012 at 5:33 PM and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. omg , my New Years Resolution, to make it Simple, Simplify my life….I am who I am which is a giving person… to the right people. Would like to involve those people who CAN Do what we like to do. Who can I call to take me to the airport? who will pay for dinner at OUR favorite restaurant, Other than us picking up the bill consistently. who do I call in the middle of a menapause moment… I am getting rid of baggage including the house, finding a place where we can look at the ocean, eliminating storage bins, stuff, and learning to enjoy life and eliminate the baggage that sucks up the positive energy people that We havent met. I am happy to say that you, after all these years know what simplicity is and really had it 15 years ago!!!!

  2. Irene Maran says:

    I always try to get rid of things from my closet, and if I am successful and have more space, I fill it up again. Getting rid of friends or former friends is harder and as the years pass. You’re right, we have less and less in common. I’d like to send them a fake obituary and then my problem would be solved.
    Your writing is “right on!”

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