Brett Favre or Martha Stewart?
The first boy I had a crush on (not counting my imaginary friend, George) was Paul Esposito. In the third grade, Paul pulled my hair, chased me from the school, and when he caught up, kissed me. He warned me not to tell anyone – which I, of course, did – and he vociferously denied it forevermore. That was my first infatuation (which lasted about 25 years, but that’s another story) and it didn’t end well.
Okay; it didn’t end that badly. We went to a girl-ask-boy dance in the 8th grade and kind of hung out together in high school, but it still was unrequited love.
Which makes me think about the timeline of our attraction to the opposite sex.
Even though Paul’s kiss thrilled me, I still didn’t want to hang out with boys. In the third grade, all the girls fought over who would get to sit next to Norman Currie. Not because he was so beguiling, but because he was the least undesirable boy in the class. Boys? Yuck.
When did we start actually liking boys? Was it in 7th grade during the kissing parties? Or did we just not want to be the odd girl out? Maybe it was high school, when our hormones started to kick in and we fought (but hope they succeeded) the around-the-waist nipple fondle. Obviously it varied from girl to girl, but at some point, we (the heterosexual among us) wanted to have a boyfriend. When there was “nothing to do”, we walked around town, hoping and praying to run into a group of boys at the basketball courts. Ah, the simple desires of youth.
Then we got older. And older. And older. And now, do we still troll the malls looking for boys to ogle? Given the choice, now who do we choose to spend our time with? A bunch of men – or a cadre of girlfriends?
Think about it: an afternoon with 4 or 5 guys and you, the only woman (something we high school girls fantasized about). They’d be doing the things most guys want to do – gather at a bar, talk (or watch) sports, leer in a strip club. Yeah, I know. Not every guy wants to do this. Some of them want to talk cycling ad nauseum. And, yes, some of us might enjoy it. But, what if you didn’t get to choose what – or where – the conversation would be? Of course, if you like scatological humor and fart noises, the choice isn’t easy.
I’m still trying to decide.
Tags: boys, Brett Favre, heterosexuality, infatuation, Martha Stewart, men, scatological humor, unrequited love
because some men are only good for one thing and even then we have to retrain them..