I Can Forgive, But I Can’t Forget
HSAM or Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory is the unique ability to remember virtually everything from every day in your life. I’m convinced that I have at least a version of this because I never, ever forget. Not the words to cartoon theme songs from the 1960s. Not what you said to me on the first day of school. Yup. I remember it all. . . well, most. And I may seem to forgive you. . . But, believe me. I do not forget.
It’s really a burden. Sometimes I wish I could forget that nasty comment you made about my hair. Or what that really terrible haircut looked like (It was so bad Mom resorted to saying, “But you still have a pretty face.” Ouch.). I wish I didn’t remember how awkward I felt during my first 7th grade dance. And that not one boy asked me to dance.
Of course, I remember the good things, too. Like when Ron K told me I had “a perfect body” (But we never believe that kind of stuff when they say it, right?) or when another early love talked in his sleep and professed how much he cared about me (Do you remember it’s you?).
My head is filled with all this stuff; no one can get away from it, either, because I am obligated to. Obligated because . . . well, if I know it, you should, too. You don’t remember when that guy from Long Branch High said you looked good “scrunched up”? You can’t recall how we sang that Platters song and sang it with a skip, just like the record? (Ok. You do remember that.). Sometimes my tape recorder memory can jog others’; sometimes I’m frustrated because it seems like I’m the only one who can still hold it and feel it and see it.
<<<Sigh>>>
So, if you insult me or praise me, I won’t forget. But I might forgive.
Tags: bad haircuts, forget, forgive, Memory, old boyfriends, women over 40
