Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

Wiped Out

Who thinks that a mirror hung five feet off the ground has any value whatsoever in a women’s room? A man, that’s who. And until men stop designing our public bathrooms, we will  never, ever be satisfied. For god’s sake, let women design those bathrooms and you’ll not only see a more satisfied, happier half of society, you’ll also see what could be a significant economic bounce.

It isn’t just the height of the mirrors, is it sisters? Let’s start with the obvious: the need for more stalls. Is there ever a line for the men’s room? Only once did I experience this (at a rock club in NY which was filled with musicians) and I must say I smirked and happily sauntered my way into the empty ladies room while they milled around and moaned about something we have to deal with almost daily. News flash, bathroom “engineers”: we have to undress to unloose and we have to wipe. Must I say it more delicately? There’s a time factor that apparently none of you understand.

But, as I’ve alluded to earlier, the lack of appreciation of why we use the lavatory but also how we do is simply shortsighted. Just imagine how much quicker your wife or girlfriend could get back to the dinner table. Assuming she doesn’t have to fix her makeup. . .

Which brings me to a second complaint: the lighting. Now, I know you men are thinking, what is the big deal? You go in, you take care of business, wash your hands (yes; some of you do, I hear. . .) and you’re done, right? Wrong. If there is a mirror – regardless of how high it is hung – we are going to check our hair and makeup. Don’t ask why. Just accept it.

And what happens when we do? We agonize over how we look. Because the lighting sucks. Let me take this a step further, because this doesn’t only happen in restaurants or clubs, but at the office as well. When a woman looks in a mirror in a poorly lit environment, there is very little chance she will be satisfied with what is looking back at her. If only the corporate honchos understood this, they would immediately install soft, pink lighting to surround us, diminishing wrinkles and brightening our complexions. Go a step further and put in those mirrors that make us look thinner and you’ll have women practically running back to their desks, their faces radiating pure joy. Can you imagine how much money would be saved in lost productivity if we didn’t have to reapply makeup or constantly readjust our clothes in a failed attempt to feel good about ourselves?

And how about putting those hooks inside the stalls at a level we can actually reach ? Do they really think there is a value in a hook that is at the very top of the door? If you don’t have a lower spot (if, for example, the door is louvered), then put it on the wall. There is almost nothing more annoying than running into a stall (without a moment to spare) and ending up holding your pocketbook between your teeth instead of dropping it on the floor. Come on, boys. Think female before you fasten.

So, I’ve already identified four easy fixes: more stalls, lower (and better) mirrors, flattering lighting and  perceptively-placed projections. Those should be the minimum requirements. But there are other enhancements that could really improve our quality of elimination. Bidets, for instance. If you’ve never used one, you are in for a treat. And now there is no need for a separate fixture; you can get an attachment that goes right on the bowl. Aside from giving us that fresh, just washed feeling, there are other significant benefits, which I’ll leave for another post. . .

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 5th, 2014 at 1:13 pm and is filed under My Pet Peeves. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Judy Herring says:

    I will begin with the lighting in public restrooms!! I have no idea what kind of bulbs they use, but they are terrible! I always look like my skin is gray and my hair color is…who knows!! I’ve even looked up to see the lights! I have been in some very nice public restrooms that are well….pretty cute. They are usually at very small, quaint restaurants, the walls are brightly colored and they have small candles burning ( I guess to squelch certain oders!!)
    Another beef I have is why is it always so hard to get the toilet paper to un-roll?? Are the sheets glued together?? Have you ever had to reach way up a silver toilet paper holder only to get tiny bits and pieces of paper? And there is absolutely nothing you can do with that small piece!
    I’m fairly tall so I can reach the hook on the back of the door, but how about when there isn’t a hook and there isn’t a toilet lid to place your pocketbook?? One look at the floor and you think…”hell no..it’s got pee pee all over it – I’m not putting my bag down there.” Then what do you do? Ever try holding your bag while you’re peeing and reaching for toilet paper that’s too hard to get anyway???? Oh…what about the doors to the stalls that are too close to the toilet itself and it’s almost impossible to close the door while you are standing between the door and the toilet?? You almost have to stand on the seat just to close the door and then you don’t want to sit because you just stood on the seat!!! I’d like to know who put those bathrooms together – stick figures!!
    I feel your pain Lucille…..I don’t know where they get the mirrors either…and the bathrooms in airports are some of the worst when it comes to mirrors, too!!
    I’m with you on Bidets – love them!!

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