Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

Welcome to Fantasy Island!

Don’t we all have fantasies? Hell yes. But once our fantasies start to morph into unrealistic expectations, then we are in deep doodoo. Now, I’m not talking about those weird sexual fantasies y’all might be having (don’t deny it. . . we all do!). I’m more interested in those day-to-day fantasies we all engage in. You know what I’m talking about. That pile of papers you’ll go through and sort and file away. Those photos from 1977 that you’ll scan. And that pair of jeans you actually think you’ll fit in again.

Where do we draw the line? Should we draw the line? What harm is there in fantasizing about Denzel Washington ever finding me so irresistible that he drags me into a hotel room and forces himself on me? (I would have no choice but to submit, Gary) What are the negative repercussions  if you daydream about Zac Efron and troll the internet for nude shots of him (other than the possibility of being accused of being a pedophile)?

The only real problem is when we stop realizing it’s a fantasy and begin to believe our fantasies can really come true (except for the Denzel one).¬† We women over 40 (50, 60, et. al.) need to know when a fantasy is a fantasy and nothing more. We should know we’re not going to have a torrid affair with a 24 year old hottie (well, most of us ). And we should know clothes we wore in high school will never fit us again and, even if they do still fit, they aren’t the fashion statement we should be making.

Why does all this matter? It matters because we should realize that fantasizing can be fun if it’s healthy. We don’t have to feel terrible when we pick up a magazine and see skinny little things wearing hot bathing suits or clingy dresses that will never, ever look like that on us again. We can look at all those wonderful, fun clothes and fantasize. . . remember how we used to look or how we always wanted to look and pretend we could someday wear those things and look great. We can’t – but we can pretend.

We just have to realize when we’re on Fantasy Island.

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This entry was posted on Monday, April 7th, 2014 at 2:11 PM and is filed under Ageing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. David Berkowitz says:

    Hey, gives us men folks a break, we have fantasies too. I have a pair of Jordache jeans that I bought back in my disco days (we’re talking 1981) that I wore once, and still have in my closet for the day when either I can wear them again or disco comes back. That’s my Fantasy Island (The Plane boss, the plane!!!)

  2. Judy Herring says:

    I didn’t realize keeping clothes in my closet from 10, 15 years ago was a fantasy! I still think that one day I will be able to get into them! Isn’t it more like wishful thinking? After reading your blog, wishful thinking and fantasies are one in the same.
    It’s nice to have your blog back Lucille!

  3. Linda Kravetz says:

    Nice to read you again, Lucille; you’re such a daft writer. I do have a few things to comment about fantasy (sies). as you say we all have them or indulge in them. It’s what makes us human beings; animals don’t fantasize. Fantasizing is a function of the human imagination, without it, life is unbearable. We ‘fantasize’ when we are in the depths of hopelessness or despair, or just plain bored. it helps us cope. Without fantasies or dreams there is no human progress. Think of philosophers, scientists, artists, religious people who dare think, visualize, and imagine possible and impossible things… whether of undiscovered lands, and the universe, new technology, spiritual awareness, new ways of looking at things… i can go on and on. these kinds of fantasies are not only ‘fun and healthy,’ but useful and edifying for the human species. Fantasies focusing on sex, physical appearance, self-image – are demeaning and unsatisfying, to say the least, because they limit our potential to think beyond our earthly bodies. If your fantasies are limited to being caged in a pair of tight-fitting of jeans – really …..
    Sorry, if this is boring, but this kind of blog is so useful when it leads to deeper thoughts and beyond (beyond blabber?), at least for me. Come to think of it, when we fantasize about other people like celebrities, or a luxurious life, we add our own fantasies of what they really are. Chances are that sexy, handsome, virile-looking actor in real life is insecure as hell, has drug and drinking problems, is a wife abuser, probably has ED – etc. But we superimpose, or at least Hollywood does, a different image on his persona. That gorgeous McMansion maybe our dream house, but … do we really want to live behind its tall metal fence with electronic locks and fortress-like alarm system?
    Thanks, Lucille, keep up the weekend writing and throw us some crumbs such as this to chew on from time to time. It’s stimulating.
    Linda

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