Does Size Really Matter?
Yikes! Scientists have just discovered that stress affects the size of organs. . . and I’m not talking about the musical kinds. Is this the biggest problem facing mankind? (Pardon the pun)
In studies conducted on the fruit fly, researchers have revealed that when some specific cells are subjected to stress, not only is the growth of this part of the organ reduced but also that of the remaining section.
This is obviously a very, very serious problem. Not only could this increase the need for rolled up socks in the pants; it also can have a very detrimental affect on the egos of those poor men in our lives (who run the world and make most of the money).
You see, it IS our fault, ladies. And because we’ve subjected these poor, poor men to so much stress, we are going to have to create massive federal studies to fix this problem. Because what could be worse than a small package?
It’s more important than finding safe, reliable, accessible birth control. After all, lots of couples now can’t find suitable babies to adopt, with all those teens getting abortions. Just imagine if they had birth control more easily available? What we really need is more orphanages and a kind of Handmaid’s Tale society where girls carry to term to create a fresh, ongoing supply of babies.
And, do we really need to find a way to prevent things like breast cancer? What’s the big deal with that anyway? After all, it potentially only affects half the population (and a few, unlucky men). Besides, my sister survivors and I all know most of us only have to get a chunk cut out and maybe be subjected to debilitating chemo and/or radiation. Why do we need to throw even more money after breast cancer research when we’ve got this pressing P35 crisis to deal with?
But the real question is: does size REALLY matter?
I’m not touching that. . .
Tags: adoptions, birth control, breast cancer, does size matter, Handmaid's Tale, male issues, organ growth, research, size, women over 40
I’m not touching that either! What a great line, Lucille. Seriously, who made us do the experiment with Fruitflies,
Hosp or Crupi??? Maybe those guys were onto something…I wouldn’t touch that!!!
Poor Gary, in that case, he must be an innie…