Comments on: The No-Hug Zone http://beyondbabedom.com/the-no-hug-zone/ We're (way) over 40. Deal with it. Sun, 14 Jan 2018 22:24:15 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.8.5 By: Chris Munson http://beyondbabedom.com/the-no-hug-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-2023 Thu, 03 Feb 2011 19:37:05 +0000 http://beyondbabedom.com/?p=578#comment-2023 Much research on this question has been done particularly by Drs Frischkäse and Räucherlachs at the University of Dortmund in Germany. They hypothesize, on the basis of studying contemporary tribes from the uplands of New Guinea whose behavior most approximates that of neolithic cultures, the male reluctance to hug arises from the peculiar bonding required for a successful hunt, and the fatal distraction that could arise when the male mind wanders to thoughts of a great, hairy embrace between hunters when the game, let us say perhaps, a Great Wooly Mammoth is afoot. The fatal tramplings, tuskings and mayhem caused by such “lustvollen Sehnsüchte” as the good Doctors term it need scarsely be imagined to confirm their thesis.

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By: Barry Jay http://beyondbabedom.com/the-no-hug-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-156 Sat, 19 Sep 2009 11:31:01 +0000 http://beyondbabedom.com/?p=578#comment-156 Hey, it is silly….every time we visit Gary and Lucille…Gary always greets me with a kiss….but he’s such a tease…never slips me a tongue…

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By: Frank M http://beyondbabedom.com/the-no-hug-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-155 Thu, 17 Sep 2009 13:59:10 +0000 http://beyondbabedom.com/?p=578#comment-155 Lucille, it’s the way we were taught by society. I don’t think there’s a message or anything else to worry about. It is what it is. Besides, if I were to run up to Gary and hug and kiss him (unless of course we just won the Mega Millions lottery), it really would be very gay and I’m certain we’d be picked on by some 5th graders who happened to be nearby. We most likely would then cry on each other’s shoulders.

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By: Patrice http://beyondbabedom.com/the-no-hug-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-151 Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:13:53 +0000 http://beyondbabedom.com/?p=578#comment-151 I am dating a man who grew up in France. He hugs and kisses everyone! I love it. My son is a hugger, too. Personally, I think it takes a real man to be able to hug/kiss his male friends. I hug/kiss the females in my life, as well as the males. What’s the big deal, anyway? We, as Americans, are so uptight about things..like men hugging men, going topless on the beach…WTF? (for the record, I’m one of those who is uptight about going topless and find it uncomfortable when other women do).

((Hugs))) to everyone!

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By: David Alexander http://beyondbabedom.com/the-no-hug-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-150 Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:54:00 +0000 http://beyondbabedom.com/?p=578#comment-150 Men do hug more than they used to, but it has become somewhat ritualized, especially in the black community. But as long as a significant percentage of men believe that homosexuality is contagious, there will always be a limit on physical shows of affection…

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By: James http://beyondbabedom.com/the-no-hug-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-149 Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:53:31 +0000 http://beyondbabedom.com/?p=578#comment-149 I once dated someone that taught me about being affectionate. My friend Kirk and I just met for lunch in Maui after about 8 years and after the standard handshakes, we hugged each other. My son and I, he’s 18, always hug each hello and goodbye. My father and I always hug each other too. I started that with him years ago. I have danced with male friends just as a gesture of fun and friendship. The key to me is being comfortable in my own skin. Lastly, I have not gone so far as kissing  my male friends, on the lips or cheek. I think a hug will do .
Mahalo Lucille, I believe this is my first blog response 

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By: Kirk http://beyondbabedom.com/the-no-hug-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-148 Tue, 15 Sep 2009 18:55:36 +0000 http://beyondbabedom.com/?p=578#comment-148 I remember being in Paris and having dinner with a good male from of mine who is French. He drove me to my Metro stop and he gave me a kiss and I cracked up. He laughed too saying that I guess you Americans don’t understand that kissing is not dangerous.

I think in the US we have a different sense of space and kissing as grown men doesn’t feel right. I do hug my male friends after a hand shake. It’s pretty common now days. So it would seem that the barriers to male on male affection are beginning to be lowered.

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By: J R Petraglia http://beyondbabedom.com/the-no-hug-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-147 Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:58:06 +0000 http://beyondbabedom.com/?p=578#comment-147 If Patrick Swayze could portray a dancer and a drag queen and still make our hearts flutter, you would think men could get past their hang-ups. Drew Hollywood, who looked more like a leprechaun than like Swayze, was totally comfortable with his masculinity. He would hug everyone and everything he could wrap his arms around.

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By: Bob http://beyondbabedom.com/the-no-hug-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-146 Tue, 15 Sep 2009 05:23:44 +0000 http://beyondbabedom.com/?p=578#comment-146 I agree with the person who said it’s a “learned thing.” We live in a society that seems to appreciate the female form much more than the male form, both in art & in Hollywood, which is why men & women alike are more likely to squirm watching a love scene between two men than between two women. Also, men, by nature, are more attracted to visual stimuli whereas women are attracted to ideas, words, ambience, etc. The “idea” of two men together, while not repulsive exactly (unless you’re still a youthful schoolgirl prone to easy embarrassment), doesn’t fit into a proper romantic context in most women’s minds. Since heterosexual men need only see a woman’s body to become aroused, regardless of the context, it stands to reason that more than one woman’s body would only serve to provide an even greater feast for the eyes, in men’s minds.

Over time, women have adjusted to seeing more women’s bodies on movie screens & cable TV than male ones, and even when a naked man IS shown, it’s usually from behind. The sight of a fully naked man from the front still inspires audible gasps in most instances, because it’s rare enough to prevent us from having accustomed ourselves. For one thing, male genitalia is not thought to be a particularly romantic image, and some even regard it as borderline pornographic if it’s not attached to a bronze statue in a museum. The male form, in all of its maleness, is just not as widely accepted in mainstream entertainment. Rarely do romantic love scenes include it, because the sight of it somehow takes the viewer – male or female – out of the romantic mood the scene is striving for.

I once asked a twentysomething woman why she couldn’t be turned on by watching two men kiss, in much the same way a man might be turned on by watching two women do the same. Her response: “Because it’s just silly!” That practically spells it out for us, in a nutshell. Understanding the fundamental differences in what makes each gender tick is ultimately where the answer lies, & Hollywood has always helped to fuel that sexual zeitgeist. I believe our general way of showing each other affection eventually starts to follow the same model.

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By: Judy http://beyondbabedom.com/the-no-hug-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-145 Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:45:05 +0000 http://beyondbabedom.com/?p=578#comment-145 I used to hug people all the time – guys or girls. But, I began to sense displeasure from some people. They would almost pull away if they thought I was going to hug them. So, I stopped. I only hug those who mean A LOT. Heck, the other night, my ex-husband and I took our daughters out to dinner to celebrate our eldest daughter’s 21st birthday. When saying good-bye to my former husband, I gave him a hug. My daughter’s asked why I did that and I said it was because 21 years ago on that very day, we became parents. I don’t know how he felt about that hug, and frankly, it doesn’t matter to me. I was happy and I shared it.

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