Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

Sex, Sex and More Sex

Yes, this is a blatant effort to get traffic to this blog, but I really am going to talk about sex; who wants it, what else can light up your brain the same way, and other random thoughts.

I recently read a column written by Nicholas Kristof  in the NY Times where he talked about the horrible crisis in Haiti. I know what you’re thinking: oh, no. Here Lucille goes again with some kind of political/social consciousness/pablum puking piffle. Ah, but you’d be wrong, because Kristof’s column was about the “selfish pleasures of selflessness.” Not selfishness; selflessness, and how they’ve discovered that when people do something altruistic – like giving money to the Haiti relief effort, for example – the part of their brain that is normally associated with “primal gratifications” like food and (here it comes) sex lights up. Yes, giving = getting. Does that mean that we’re actually doing our husbands and partners a favor when we let them . . .ah. . . give? I don’t know about you girls, but I’m willing to let him give til it hurts (and, yes, I am talking about that).

Secondly, I am a little confused about the sex drive of BB women. Some of them, it seems, couldn’t care less about sex (and their husbands seem to confirm this to me); others are pissing and moaning (as Dad would have said) that they can’t get any. I noticed this last weekend when I was with a bunch of “us” and the talk turned to sex (funny how often that happens). Actually, I may have been the one who turned it that way, but never mind. The point is, we were talking about sex and one friend I’ll call Barbie was lamenting her lack of a “love life” and by “love life” she meant sex. I suggested a vibrator (let’s be practical) and the discussion went downhill from there. But, several of my other friends have made it clear to me that they can’t remember the last time they had sex – and they don’t care. My friend “Jim” confided that having his wife mad at him didn’t mean he’d get less sex – because that would be impossible. So, what’s the story? Those who have it don’t want it and those who can’t get it yearn for it? Yikes.

Finally, what about this news that women seem to now be marrying men who make less money than them, a real change from our mothers’ generation. Why is this? Well, maybe because now women make money! Duh. And some of us are now robbing the cradle, so chances are we’ve hit a higher pay bracket first (though I’m still amazed at the discrepancy between our earnings and how some incredibly incompetent men get the big bucks and the big jobs, but that’s a whole ‘nother story). But, the really great news about this news is that in these marriages where the woman is the higher earner, there is a decreased incidence of divorce. Here is my hypothesis: women who earn more money feel better about themselves, don’t feel inferior and don’t feel like they have to grit their teeth and bear it when things aren’t going the way they’d like. So, communication is better and there’s less of that passive aggressive behavior I see a lot of my “sisters” engaging in. So, more money = less tension = better communication = better marriage.

It may be just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one, but remember what the Beatles said: Money can’t buy me love.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, January 28th, 2010 at 9:29 PM and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Dee Batteriê says:

    Ok, It has become more and more apparent what the womans’ role is in sexplay. It is the role of the ingénu. It seems to me that it is all an act that women need to/have to put forth as part of the whole procreation scheme. Not that they don’t actually enjoy the act or the physical aspects of this game, indeed they do! But after the babies have come and gone, the act gets old and needless, in their minds. Evidence the fact that some of the authors friends don’t even remember their last slam fest! Guys on the otherhand need to “get off” even if left to their own devices!! more aptly their right (or left) hand!! There are some unpleasant incongruencies that come to light as a couples age progresses…. the women tend to lose interest at a faster rate than men and so the men are left holding their bag. Pun Intended.

    Years ago, guys used to talk about “Spanish Fly”. . .. is there really such a thing? If so, women should buy some and sprinkle it in their Venti Starfucks!!

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