Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

Sex, Drugs and R*** or How to Enjoy a Business Meeting

I want to talk about sex, and one very important part of sex – especially for women – is fantasies. And, yes, rape (or simply being overpowered by a man) is a common fantasy. Accept it. Here’s what I’ve learned: real rape – something none of us want – is about a man exerting power. Fantasy rape, on the other hand, is about being so desirable that your fantasy man has to have you, no matter what. And you, as the victim, can’t be held responsible. Or it might actually be your way of being in control – after all, it’s your fantasy. It’s not only perfectly normal to have this fantasy; it’s one lots of women have. So, don’t feel guilty or disturbed or dirty if you have rape fantasies. Okay – you can feel dirty. That’s the idea of a fantasy anyway. 

By the way, if your significant other is threatened by your fantasies – why aren’t you fantasizing about me? - he’s not unusual. But neither are you! Men just have more limited sexual imaginations. . .

That was the good news. This is not-so-good news if you took the Pill for an extended period. Now, it seems, they’ve discovered that birth control pills actually reduce your libido. (Really? And what if I hadn’t been taking them all through college?).  Because the Pill causes an increase of  a protein that binds with testosterone – the hormone that makes your horny – it can negatively affect your sex drive according to research from Boston University. And some doctors believe this reduced libido can last from several months to several years, especially if you started young and stayed on them for many years.  What else decreases desire? Antihistamines, some anti-depressants, Xanax, Valium, hypertension medications.

Isn’t that just great? Hey, but at least you know it’s not just you.

So, as you go over 40, you have less desire and, to top that, it’s harder to have an orgasm . Wonderful. But here is some more good news: there are exercises that you can do to tighten up those pelvic muscles. Forget arm extensions. Learn how to do Kegels! Just 8 – 12 controlled contractions twice a day will not only enhance your orgasms, it will also help stave off incontinence (another fun subject we’ll just skip over this time.).

What better way to enjoy a business meeting?

Go to www.more.com/sex for details

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 29th, 2009 at 12:46 AM and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Your post reminds me of Katie Malua’s “My Secret Life”. You can find the song on You Tube here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io2ltaWzBKQ

    The war of the sexes goes on, but sometimes the friction brings pleasure.

  2. buzzy allen says:

    i don’t want to sound like some smarmy male prick, but the truth is i have known women who liked the idea of “take me now” sex. they enjoyed coming in the door, being (gently) pinned to the wall, having their under garments ripped from under them while still in their coat, spun around, coat lifted and being drilled like mad from behind. me? i was equally into it. and then we’d smoke a cigarette together. it made for some great memories. but the idea of calling that rape is uncomfortable. i have no tolerants for pedophiles or rapists. so i’d like to call it something other than taking advantage of a woman.

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