Beyond Babedom

We're (way) over 40. Deal with it.

(Reality) Check, Please

Just because he’s a “great guy” doesn’t mean he should be your guy. I mean, we’ve all bought shoes we love but can’t wear because they simply kill our feet. Who says it isn’t the same with men?

I know. You meet this wonderful guy who checks all your boxes and you think he has to be the one. He’s smart. He’s fun. He’s got the same interests as you. He makes great money. He’s not bad to look at. And things are great in the bedroom. So. . . . why does it feel wrong?

I’ll tell you why. Because you can’t base a relationship on a checklist.

Emotions are tricky things. We really can’t control them. We feel what we feel. And no matter how much you want a relationship to work, sometimes it just won’t. It might be a small, sniggling feeling that you can’t shake. It might be your reluctance to really be yourself around him. Or it might be a suspicion that he’s not being completely honest. (Is he really going home early because he’s so tired. . . or does he have another booty call?) Is being able to eat at the best restaurant more important than being comfortable enough to let your hair down?

Just like jamming a square peg into a round hole (Ooops. Sorry about that picture I just put in your mind), sometimes people simply don’t fit together. Your mother might have taught you that it’s just as easy to love a rich man as a poor one, but what do you do when you fall in love with an unemployed artist?

I’ll tell you what you do; you hold on as tightly as you can. Because all the checklists in the world don’t mean a thing if you can’t trust him, can’t laugh with him and can’t just be yourself with him.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 at 6:19 PM and is filed under men, Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Michael Terzano says:

    No woman has ever had that problem with me. Because I meet all their qualifications, and then some! Guys, please don’t hate me ’cause I’m perfect!

  2. Judy Herring says:

    I have had a few pairs of shoes just like these mentioned! Not only were they uncomfortable, they got to the point where I couldn’t even look at them anymore – that goes for the shoes and the guys!I’ve dated handsome men, well educated men, funny men, men who told me they would always be there for me…But, I couldn’t trust them and they always seemed to find some fault with me. Now, I’m not without faults, but it shouldn’t be the main focus of a relationship. I have finally found someone who truly loves me for me, my history, my children from a previous marriage, my pluses and minuses. Is he the most handsome man I have ever been with? No. Is he the funniest man I have ever been with? No, Is he the most educated man I have ever been with? No…(but he is an excellent programmer). BUT, he is someone whom I trust completely, and I know in my heart and my mind he will always be there for me. And, he completely accepts me for who I am. Lucille, you are so right – you need to trust, laugh with him and completely be yourself with him…

  3. Jose Hernandez says:

    Hmmm Maybe that is why of the 132 girls I have dated plus 3 marriages. Many have told me I am very hard to live with.
    I just want the house pristine (which I will maintain myself). Listen to what I say and be good in the bedroom. I don’t think that is much to ask for.

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