Beyond Babedom

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Hell Hath No Fury. . . Give Me a Break!

Have you ever noticed how many urban myths there are about women? You know, like how women are the gossipy ones? Please. Just sit and listen to a bunch of guys sit around and talk about their golf buddies. And what about when football coaches insult their players by calling them “girls”? As if any of them – including the coach – would last a minute with cramps, never mind labor.

But the myth that really rankles me the most is the old “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Who are they kidding? Do they really expect the world to believe that women are the ones who seek the most revenge? Sure, after many a break up you do hear stories about women who egg their ex’s cars or stalk the guy who broke up with them. And, yes, Lorena Bobbit took infidelity revenge to the extreme. But these are the exceptions.

Tell me; just how many men have to be hidden away in shelters? How many men have to fear for their lives when they try to end a relationship? How many men (and their families) get shot at home, at work, with their friends by an insanely jealous ex who would rather see them dead than with somebody else?

In a study done last decade in the 50 states and DC, nearly 25% of women were raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or dating partner/acquaintance. What percentage of men were? 7.6%.

In 2001, intimate partner violence made up 20% of all nonfatal violent crime experienced by women. Men? 3%.

Between 1998 and 2002 84% of spouse abuse victims were females, and 86% of victims of dating partner abuse at were female.

We all hear about those wives that finally lose it and kill their husbands, e.g. “The Burning Bed” after years of abuse, but did you know that¬†¬† 81% of all persons killed by their spouses were women?

Almost 3 times as many women are stalked in this country than men. 85% of attempted femicide cases involved at least one episode of stalking within 12 months before it’s attempted. (How nice; we get our own word.)

So, like with the use of the term “cougar,” women are unfairly demonized (and, yes, I consider the use of that term as portraying women as wicked or threatening) and men get a pass.

And, still, people send me emails about “the good old days.”

Sigh.

If you want to see more stats, go to http://www.abanet.org/domviol/statistics.html

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This entry was posted on Thursday, October 22nd, 2009 at 11:29 PM and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Marianne Steinmetz says:

    When my son Boo (7 yrs old, at the time)started football..into his first practice the coach start calling the boys “ladies” when they did poorly .. I tried pointing out to the coach…that it was ladies, bringing all the snacks and drinks, washing uniforms, driving these kids to his practice and games …he cursed me out in front of Boo…he quit the team. His next coach was put on notice..that talk would not be tolerated and he continued to play until high school. I tried to rally the other liberated moms on the team to address this coach and they laughed at me and said…”it doesn’t mean anything”! Does it mean anything?

  2. Tony says:

    The other day a really frightening thought came across my mind… that of the idea of being married to a lady that was a foot taller than me, double my weight and intensely irritated, easily aggravated, jealous and had a hair-trigger temper. What if she came home drunk and started thrashing me around the house or battering me with fists? What if she were strong enough to actually force me face down and “do whatever?” and then a day after all this, simply say “I’m sorry” and expect me to forget it.

    Theres alot of women out there that go through this every day!

  3. [...] hath no fury” blah blah blah but it’s just not true. I’ve said it before (see Hell Hath No Fury. . . Give Me a Break!, October 22nd, 2009) and now I have scientific evidence to back me up (as if I needed it). A survey [...]

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