Beyond Babedom

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Dust in the Wind

Even wonder what it would be like to rewrite history? You know; studying for that test that would have made you pass that class that would have gotten you into college? Or not getting in that car after that third drink?

How about marrying that guy from way back?

Probably most of us have thought about that once or twice. What if I had married . . .? Would my life be better? Would I be happier? Richer? Well, I had the chance to revisit the past and I am soooo happy to report that changing mine would have been a disaster.

How do I know? Mostly because I’m really happy with my life now; I love Gary and he loves me (at least he tells me that, without prompting); I have enough – more “things” wouldn’t make my life better; and – back to Gary – as my sister Camille noted the first time she met him: “I can’t believe you found someone as jerky as you.” Yup. We’re both big, goofy jerks who laugh at the stupidest things . . . and we love it.

But, it’s more than that. When I had the chance this past week to spend a little time with “the one who got away” – you know; the one who seemed like the perfect guy at the time (If only it had worked out! It was the perfect relationship!) – I realized how little I knew back then about what I really wanted.

Not only did he spend at least 20 minutes telling me about himself: how successful he was, all the big things going on in his life, how much money he has. That was bad enough. When is he going to ask what has been going on in my life for the past 30+ years? The answer was: never  (Obviously he didn’t know me as well as I thought or he would have known that some discussion about moi was mandatory.) But it went beyond that. Sure, I was a little baffled (pissed) when he didn’t ask one single question about my life. And I was surprised (annoyed) when he didn’t  – during his long, boring soliloquy – talk at all about “back then.” It was the thought running through my head, How much longer do I have to listen to him? Why would I ever want to talk to him again?

And then, pow! I realized how glad I was that I hadn‘t ended up with him, money (if indeed he was being honest) and all. His life – and his wife’s life – sounded incredibly . . . not me. I actually felt sorry for her (who happened to be the b*!@h he left me for). Imagine living with that for all those years?

So, no, I don’t want to rewrite history. Although, in a way, I already have. Those memories are now nothing more than dust in the wind. And, if you know me, you know how I hate dusting.

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This entry was posted on Friday, May 7th, 2010 at 7:53 PM and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  1. Patrice says:

    Nope, I wouldn’t rewrite any part of history. I believe events, situations, etc happen the way they are supposed to happen. I was given choices and some I made foolish ones, however, when I look at the beautiful children I have and the growth in myself, I realize I’d do it all again…probably the exact same way!

    Yup, and I did let the good one get away..although I do still have part of him always….

  2. Linda says:

    I married the guy from “way back.” After divorcing the “worst thing that ever happened to me,” I met the love of my life from 42 years ago. It was like a trip back in time. We met, the world stopped and we spent three delightful years together before getting married 7 years ago. Some things are actually better “revisited.” I thank my lucky stars everyday for having been fortunate to find him once again and even luckier to claim him as my loving partner and best friend. I am blessed.

  3. jackie says:

    I think the steps we take in life are the ones we are supposed to….do I have regrets on some decisions…of course. But I would not be the person I am today if I had not gone through the hardships of a bad marriage and single parent years working three jobs. Somehow I just appreciate everything so much more……and every now and then I just sit back and think about where I was in life 22 years ago….and love where I am today!

  4. Emily says:

    I married the guy from “way back.” After divorcing the “worst thing that ever happened to me,” I met the love of my life from 42 years ago. It was like a trip back in time. We met, the world stopped and we spent three delightful years together before getting married 7 years ago. Some things are actually better “revisited.” I thank my lucky stars everyday for having been fortunate to find him once again and even luckier to claim him as my loving partner and best friend. I am blessed.

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